heno_garvi @ 2009-11-03T01:09:00

2009-11-03T01:10:38Z

Once upon a midnight dreary, while i porn surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, "'Tis not possible!", i muttered, "Five me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.

found me a new online radio station

2009-11-02T23:37:49Z

www.death.fm it's pretty badass.

I love halloween

2009-11-01T19:32:45Z

last night these 4 kids came up to my mates house and knocked on the door, I answered in my combat jacket, combat trousers and combat boots and simply said to them ' you are all standing on a sandringham type 21 anti-personel land mine, if you move you will die' and closed the door went back an hour later and they where still standing there and I had to tell them I was joking

my fucked up story, dedicated to #duckhunt

2009-10-20T14:29:54Z

Once there was John the fucked up kid in the corner. He was mentally retarded and heavily medicated, for everyone's protection. One day the class bully, Bob, took John's medication before he could have his dose. As the day went on John went insane silently, at lunch Bob tried to make John eat a shit sandwich. John decided he'd had enough and punched Bob in the nose, this took Bob to the ground, on which John jumped onto Bob's chest and continued to beat Bob's face into the dirt and walked out of school. As he walked home he realised that he liked the feeling he had when beating Bob's face in, so he decided to take himself off his medication, he also decided to stay away from school for a few weeks until he could plan execute his endgame of revenge.

John was planning his revenge, he carefully made plans regarding the layout of the school, some schedules and some black market contacts. As the weeks wore on he started sneaking into school before class and after class, stashing stuff and setting stuff up.

On the third week he decided it was time to put his plan into action, he woke up early, downed a bottle of whiskey and got dressed in his smartest uniform. As John walked to school he silently contemplated what he was about to do. When he walked into school he stopped, dropped to one knee and laughed to himself as he reached into his backpack and retrieved a long chain and a huge padlock and wrapped the chain around the only way out of the school and snapped the padlock through both ends of the chain sealing the school entirely from the outside world.

John was cackling madly to himself at this point as he pulled a smith and wesson .45 revolver out of his rucksack, took aim carefully and squeezed off a hollowpoint round into the head of the headteacher, everyone started screaming as John ran towards his first stash of weapons, as he ran he pulled his school shirt off revealing a Cannibal Corpse T-shirt. He reached his first stash and pulled on an assault vest that was on top of a fearsome arsenal. John pulled a huge .308 calibre M238 SAW out from the stash and slung it over his shoulder. He then pulled out a heckler and kotch G3, an M4 assualt rifle with 40mm under barrel grenade launcher, an AK-47 assault rifle, two desert eagles and a box of grenades. He jumped up brandishing the AK-47 and let off a deadly hail of 7.62mm rounds into the group of frantic students trying to get the gate open, most of them dropped immediately either dead or dyeing but 4 lucky bastards escaped the hailstorm of lead, but they did get caught up in the frag from the follow up grenade. John cackled madly to himself as he walked through school ripping off rounds from the SAW killing everyone he saw. He was in the languages department when he heard a girl sniffle followed by a few hurried shushes, realising that the french room next to him was full of students, he pulled the M4 from his shoulder and emptied the clip into the wall felling anything in the room, not content with just killing them with a gun, he moved his hand to the forward trigger, opened the door and unleashed a 40mm fragmentation grenade into the room, extinguishing any hope for survivors. This was not just some poxy killing spree like those yank tossers at Columbine this was planned, as John was ever so slightly insane since his great uncle dropped him on his head as a baby, he had been keeping a detailed list of anyone who did him wrong and he planned to exterminate anyone who was on that list and as much collateral damage as possible.

As John ticked off the third person off his list, he spotted a group of students in a window, including 2 of the people in his list. He pulled the M238 SAW off his shoulder and ripped the entire belt of 100 rounds into the windows and wall ripping the entire area to shreds. Then pulled a pair of grenades off his webbing and threw them through the window, blowing the entire room and connecting hallway into oblivion. Laughing madly to himself he started ripping rounds off into windows doors and walls. He decided to flush out some of his prey, he pulled a large detonator out of his webbing, flicked the safety switch and pushed the 2 and 3 buttons setting off blocks of semtex in the main block. People start fleeing the main building as it came down, John started to blast the droves with his twin desert eagles shooting anything that moved.

The poor fucked up dude was getting pretty knackered by now and rather hungry, but the dinner ladies where all dead and they hadn't cooked a fucking thing before he had emptied a clip of AK-47 rounds into the school kitchens. He decided that he would call dominoes and order an extra large pepperoni passion with 3 litres of orange fanta. While he was waiting he checked the other explosive devices and his stashes of napalm bombs, then waited by the gate for the pizza delivery person. His pizza finally arrived, he shot the delivery boy for making him wait so long, he found his peaceful spot on the school field and ate his pizza.

He greatly enjoyed his pizza and decided he was tired of hunting little targets, he pulled out the detonator, throws the safety catch up and presses all buttons detonating all the blocks of semtex high explosives. People began to flee the blast waves of the explosions and where herded into a pen otherwise known as the basketball court. He locked the gate and dropped most of his guns apart from the twin desert eagles and picked up a flamethrower intending to burn all the survivors of the explosions. He started to blast fire into the pen burning everything it touched, occasionally throwing in napalm bombs for added devastation and range. He finally got bored of burning people to death he picked up the G3 and started blasting into the pen either killing or injuring the people who where lucky enough to miss the fire. He kept blasting until he ran out of ammunition for the G3 and decided to bring in the big boys, he ran over to a hedge near the pen and pulled out a GPMG (general purpose machine gun) and started blasting everything unlucky enough to still be moving. After everyone was dead he decided it was time to face the music for his heinous crime, so giggling to himself he reloaded all his weapons new belts for the SAW and GPMG, new clips for the AK-47, M4, desert eagles and G3 with a new 40mm grenade for the launcher under the barrel of the M4. He walked slowly to the gate of the school playing with the guns as he walked and whistled to himself, he fished the key to the lock out of his webbing when he reached the gate and spotted about 30 armed police officers behind their cars, he unlocked the gate and opened fire on the cars with the GPMG blowing most of the panels apart with the high calibre rounds. He pulled up the M4 and shot off a grenade blowing up the nearest vehicle and incinerating the 2 armed officers behind it, then took cover behind the concrete box that housed the schools gas, water and electricity meters. John laughed to himself as the armed officers returned fire in anger of loosing 2 of their colleagues. As the cops ran out of ammo John came back up with the AK-47 nestled in one shoulder and the G3 in the other and ripped off both clips in a few seconds, tearing the unprotected cops to shreds.

John walked through the street shooting random windows, doors and cars, making everyone cower in their houses. The police in the control room decided that the John was too much of a threat for their officers and called the army in. 22nd regiment SAS arrived at the scene they spotted the kid they where meant to take down manically laughing to himself in the middle of the street with more guns than a 3rd world army, so they deployed their snipers to OP's with an overview of the street and all the other troops gave covering fire to distract John. As he returned fire the 2 snipers fired simultaneously and got him in both eyes turning his brains into pavement pizza, the rest of the troops ran over to his body, kicked all the weapons clear and emptied a clip each into him. John met a sticky end but up till then, it had been the best day of his life.

I finally done it.

2009-06-29T18:51:49Z

I've been threatening this to my sister for ages, but I've finally started to write my first ever fan fiction.
I hope the great and mighty PPC don't get me for it, or I might have to shove an RPG up their collective arse